What if...things were different?

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We are all one in the spiritual, but sometimes walk alone in the physical

my live is fucking AMAZING--no question about it--but some people started to talk about the dynamic of selfishness in relationship to being IN relationships and existing IN society as opposed to really living on the cutting edge with your vibration alone.

my thought was more theoretical than that...What if, i took everything that abraham teaches at face value and completely VIBED 100% freedom in a relationship--100% independance of those in my soul group whom i birthed--100% UN-conditional love for all in my life--100% free-will/choice in all matters being 100% selfish....

And my answer to that thought was--well, i couldnt be vibrating where i am with who i am with and Have all those things without an INTENSE amount of work on my own part to maintain my vibration...

And so--the answer is this--i dont really WANT to be there...i want to be HERE--and i made the choices i made to BE where i am, knowing full well that i was giving up some part of my own personal freedom...

there are days when i do daydream of living in a city filled with millions of people, living in a nice apartment all for myself--interacting socially and sexually with whomever tickles my vibrational fancy--having independant means to do whatever i want when every i want with no strings attached to anyone...

and for about 23 minutes--that feels good...

and then, i think of all i would miss out on--my babies growing up--my lovely husband and i sharing an intimate afternoon in bed--us rocking out at a concert--us partying with friends...Us screaming at the television when our team is winning--my birds, my cats, my dog, my house, my garden, my art studio, my ballet barre....

You either choose to exist in society and make a niche for yourself with those as close to vibrational alignment as possible--or you choose to exist outside of society and hug your vibration...atleast that has been the observations that i have made in my long life..


Maybe the rockets of desire have been sent off for a future where we are all freer to do as we please and others will understand that and want that for us...

its an interesting and complicated debate

I AM.....

(http://www.aacc.edu/womensinst/image/WomanOnFench_200x20011.jpg)

who does your inner being say you are? You only have to ask!

I am

a cup overflowing with love

i am

a child, innocent with wonder

i am

a master, perfectly attuned to the universe, always knowing exactly what to do

i am

a goddess, beautiful, sensual, sexual and free

i am

freedom...doing exactly what pleases me in every moment

i am

grateful...feeling blessed always by the love of the universe

i am

fun..loving silly things and reveling in the laugher of the moment

i am

wealthy...i know the universe loves to play with me in my adventures and will always give me more than enough to do everything my heart desires

i am

a lover...completely enveloping those i love for the sheer joy of it

i am

a mother...nurturer, caregiver, supporter...because it brings me great joy

i am

a spritual being in a human experience...always listening to the whisper of my Ali inside me...

i am

ancient, immortal, complete yet always evolving...i am here, again and again...

i am

physical and non-physical

i am

Rockin

i am

perfect

i am

powerful

i am

happy, blissful, joyful, excited and peaceful..

i am healthy, wealthy and wise...

and it is so...

Nice body baby! lessons from a young one...

(http://www.courses.psu.edu/wmnst/wmnst001_atd1/BeautyMyth/3mirrors.jpg)

What do you see when you look at yourself?

I spent the earlier part of this afternoon soothing my dear daughter back into alignment. It was a very contrasty experience because it brought up a great many issues that i may have felt as a young girl, but we really did a lot of moving forward and going from deep sadness to joy (she was hysterical, and now she is sitting and singing opera to herself...you can only do that when you are in joy!)

She is a lovely young woman--sparkly, kind, a real energy ball--and astoundingly beautiful, singularly so--and i am trying not to be biased--but in this space, i can say what i want and not be seen as arrogant! lol...When she was young, she had such cute baby cheeks and baby belly, that she carried happily into young adult hood--and because no one was comparing her to anyone, because everyone told her how wonderful and beautiful she was, and accepted her for who she really was...she grew into a petite, but long torsoed healthy bodied teen--oh to have that long waist! lol with long red hair and a smear of freckles accross her translucent skin...

Lately, she has been hanging out with a group of girls that are VERY into their bodies--very into their shapes and being skinny and looking a certain way. She had never really been close to these girls, but because she had been taking a break from hanging out with her best guy friend, she listened to these girls complaining and bitching and started to take on their beliefs because she wanted to belong to the group which is what ALL girls want right?

She had never wanted that before--she had been happy to just flit through life doing her own thing--but for some reason--possibly a desire to experience the group mentality--she fell into place there...and took on their beliefs--and started to feel VERY badly about herself--because she thought she was (GASP--because it is so far from true) Fat...

There is nothing inherently wrong with being plump--I have been EVERY weight--ultra thin, curvy, pudgy and downright fat...and i always loved myself, even as i wished for things to be a bit different...here she was beating herself up because she didnt fit their beliefs related to weight...

and so, i told her the story of how as a young girl i had been a ballerina, and was never thin enough even though you could see my ribs! and because I fell for someone elses beliefs, my body lost its ability to self evaluate in a realistic way. No one tells you these things when you are young, but you will CRAVE that young body that was perfectly fine--but we all tend to fall into a trap of wishing to be what we arent, when if we truly stood up for ourselves and loved ourselves and said NO--i will be who i am, and not who you want me to be...then you would never want to be what you arent because it simply wouldnt be your truth and you wouldnt stand for that!

She realized that she was feeling BADLY because she was having a thought--and that thought was not her truth--and her inner being was telling her STRONGLY (and it always tells her things strongly) that those thoughts were not her truth...she was able to align quite easily again with knowing her lovely body was fine the way it is...she as also able to align easily with the idea that having a friend is not more important than honoring your own internal guidance...that a true friend is a person who sees you for who you really are--and is just fine with that--no matter what...

so, here is to my lovely daughter--who again reminded me that MY body is perfectly fine the way it is--and who reminded me to love myself every day because i wicked ROCK!

BE yourself!! REALLY!!!

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You are pure light, and through the focus of your physical perspective, you create a rainbow!

From a very young age, i felt that others wanted me to be different--because i was different from them--sparkly--energetic being that i was--and believe me, it was difficult to put up with their attacks on my energy and beating me down to fit into their tiny little boxes...

I finally realized that i didnt give a crap what anyone thought of me, and i was going to be my FREE, WILD, SEXY, CRAZY, FUN self...no matter what...and life just literally exploded from there...

Along the road=--whenever i started to question myself--or think that i should be like someone else wanted me to be--i have either become ill, been abused in some way, become depressed, had other issues in my life that brought me down etc...VERY STRONG indicators that i was on the wrong path...my inner being wanted me to BE MYSELF...i was here in this incarnation, with this strong personality for a reason--i had chosen to live my life as ME, with all the trappings, and by golly, I wasnt going to water it down for anything!!!

The biggest example of this for me was when i married--a man i truly love--a soul mate--i knew from the moment i met him that he was going to be my husband--and i told everyone about that! lol--but when i married, i listened to my mother and other women in my life about what it meant to be a wife, keep a home, work a job and still take care of everything--and i knew deep down inside that i needed to be FREE, BE LOVE and have fun....

for about 10 years i lost myself--working, having babies, running a home...planting a garden, wearing sweater dresses...(yuck!) and plaid...In the end, i hit the wall with massive lymes disease and had to quit my job and stay home...

it seemed such a setback--but i had to put myself first--and i realize NOW that it was a blessing and a wake up call from the universe, because it allowed ME to do exactly what i was meant to do--be FUN...enjoy life with my girls...motivate kids through scouts--be free to travel--not work and have others give me money....have the freedom to do whatever i want, whenever i want...

and i have done just that...and it has pretty much wicked rocked the whole time! My inner being knew i was wicked cool--and i felt such blessed relief when i discovered the teachings of abraham, which confirmed that we should follow our bliss...others had told me for many years that NO--dont follow your bliss--do for others--do this, do that--but i always knew...and now, i will always honor that!

Thoughts on our habits......

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One man's meat is another man's poison....I like mine black!

Someone asked a question about aligning with law of attraction to remove habits from their lives that they thought were bad for them....That they should be able to use the law to create GOOD new habits and then move into a better place either physically, spiritually, financially, relationally, etc..

You know what is so interesting in all this?

the idea that we would be so judgemental about things that we are doing that we are choosing to reject what we are doing because we feel its bad, when actually, if it FEELS good and we are doing it--we can ALIGN with ANYTHING we choose to be good and nurturing for us if we so choose it!

think about that!!!!

there simply is no good or bad--there is only choice and if something aligns with you and makes you feel good, it can be good for you--its ONLY in the feeling BAD about something that we cause detriment to ourselves...self judgement, guilt, stress!

I aligned with coffee being good for me--even though i had read countless times that coffee was evil and i should remove it from my life--and i simply felt that that was NOT true for me--and so, i aligned with it being good for me--and ALL OF A SUDDEN i saw evidence that coffee was good for me...articles about its anti-0xidant properties, cancer preventatives, cognitive enhancers, metabolic boosters....

so, coffee is good for me--i enjoy it, i get pleasure out of it etc...

there is simply NOTHING on this planet that affects EVERYONE in the same way--there are no absolutes--and WE choose how we wish to align with the mixed messages out there...

as far as habit...well, if i am doing something--there must be a reason for it that is driving me, from my current physical perspective to do something--and so, i treat myself gently and with kindness and know that when i no longer need something, it will pass from my life as quickly as it came into it....the key is to be NEUTRAL to all actions we undertake that may have a lot of baggage out there related to it...and develop our own beliefs around it...

I have a dear soul sister friend who aligned with eating cheesecake as part of her weight releasing plan...and she did such a great job getting into a good feeling place around it that whenever she ate cheesecake she lost weight! Its all a matter of what you believe!!! I know folks who are in their 90's and smoke and drink and have a great social life and it doesnt affect them negatively--because they are aligned with it being OK!

So, treat yourself with kindness...know that when you align yourself with happiness and joy and love of self--you will always reap the positives of your "habits"....the comfort of them...the joy of them...for they are part of who you are...just as certainly as your haircolor...and yep, you can change that too if you want to, and it serves you, and you feel GOOD about it! :)

I love me....and so does the universe....

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Feelin the LOVE....for ME!!!!

A dear friend brought this lovely Abraham quote to my attention:

Source says unequivocally, all day everyday:

I love you, I love you, I love you.

You are lovable.

You are worthy.

Abraham-Hicks, Philadelphia, PA, 5-17-07



it is like the truth that stands as a column in the center of your path....calling to you--this is the TRUTH...and as you walk your path towards that truth--you can turn towards, it, you can side step it, you can turn away from it--heck, you can even jump over it...

but what feels best????????????? what brings the most joy????

i have found, over the years...that within society, to admit that you love yourself is looked on in a very negative way--its almost as if you are "full of yourself" and first off==what is wrong with that? what is wrong with being pleased with who you are? what is wrong with loving yourself and treating yourself with respect and giving yourself all the things you want and desire? nothing....

but we have been trained by society, by family, by religious sects to be humble--not to blow our own horns...to know that deep down inside we are failures, sinners, weaklings, not good enough...and definitely not deserved, in our natural state of the pure love of GOD/Universe/All that is...

and so, we incarnate into this world KNOWING that we are loved beyond measure--knowing that we are beloved children of the universe and we deserve to have each and every desire we choose to be met....but we also choose from the non-physical perspective to "forget who we really are" and thus, we forget that the universe inherently loves us...

and so, part of our path...if that is what we choose--is to figure that out all over again...and for some--reading the words, that the universe doth love us brings blessed relief, but for others it brings a DEEP sense of discomfort....a deep sense of this is not so for ME....

But the more you look upon the column of love in the center of your path--the more you strip away the false beliefs, the false impressions, the false sense of self that has been created for you on the physical plane--and the more your true sense of self will come through--and the sweeter and sweeter those words will become for you...

until, you can here them--I LOVE YOU--you are a magnificent creation! You are a joy to behold, you are a marvelous, blessed, beautiful, wicked rocking child of the universe and i will shower on thee great things--your hearts desire--anything you choose simply because you are marvelous and i love you, i love you, i love you....

and you will bubble with excitement, anticipation and joy because you know this to be TRUE....

:)

In defense of resting.....if you dont do it, the universe does it for you....

Slinky, the queen of relaxing!

YAWN!!!! Oh, i had such a wonderful trip out west with some dear friends and my favorite rock and roll band! This coming off a very busy time in my life, where my hubby has been home for an extended period of time....and its a sheer joy to have him home, but i also extremely enjoy time by myself--i LOVE being alone in the solitude of my home, with my animals and my projects and my imagination--but lately its been constant contact with humans...so, this trip came at the perfect time...DUH! thats the way the universe works...

But...on the flight out, i was thinking, oh, i cant wait to have some time alone, and soak in the beautiful japanese soaking tub at the hotel...it will be divine! Though, i knew i was meeting a dear friend at the airport and going to a rock show that night, I figured i could steal a few minutes to recharge and do what i had been longing to do....soak!

So, when i got to the airport after a lovely flight, watching movies (If you havent flown Virgin America yet, its tons of fun--you get this cool video screen and can check your email and chat with other passengers and make your own wicked cool music playlist and order food right from your seat...its mad awesome! and Non-stop from NY to SFO!), i got my bag and called my buddy, only to find out she had missed her flight! She wouldnt be in for another 4 hours and our other friends would pick her up at the airport and deliver her to our hotel in time for the show...

so....BAM....the universe gave me 4 hours alone time....and then BAM...her husband checked to make sure i could check into the hotel and yes i could...and BAM, i wouldnt have to come back to the airport to pick her up....so, i got my time alone--to soak...

now, i could have felt guilty about it--that she had to miss a flight and spend extra time in the airport...but frankly--that was her path-her vibration, her life--and my path, my vibration, and my life intersects with hers, but not on every level....when she finally showed up, she had had a nice time visiting with some folks also stranded and was laughing and giggling...so it wasnt sooo bad....

Well, the whold trip was amazing...we had a BLAST in cali and las vegas...got home late on monday and had to take care of hubby after a wisdom tooth out on early tuesday morning--and i was spent...and i thought--gosh, i dont wanna do anything but rest...i felt a bit bad about that cause i knew i had stuff i should be doing....but i went to bed early, in the hopes that i could get back on east coast time...

not to be--i got sick in the night--a bad cough and my time of the month all at the same time--so guess what???? on wednesday--i sat on my butt all day and rested! The universe--BAM gave me what i had been asking for--an excuse to rest...

ofcourse, i could have just rested--i dont need an excuse to rest--when you look at it from the broader perspective...everything gets done in the end and there is no pressure really for a do it NOW mentality in most cases...so, i juice fasted for two days--and now i am feeling much better...

And not only better--more enthusiastic to get the action journey started...Hubby is traveling this weekend--perfect time to get the place in order and get back into the swing of things---

So, the moral of this long assed ramble is this--if you need to rest--if you need time alone--take the time...you are worth it--and the universe will do what it can to help you! :)

You all wicked ROCK! :) alex