On death, and dying....

(http://laloca.org/photos/blockisland/DSC_8354b.jpg)

We are all just passing through....

A friend of mine is awaiting the passing of his very elderly grandmother--he knows she had a good life and is ready to leave, but his family is angry with him for not being in the fear and grieving space that they have chosen--I shared this story of my grandmothers passing with him to help him see how truly wonderful it is to return to pure positive energy....


people feel fear surrounding death for a number of reasons--and when anyone dies, it reminds them of their own mortality....they are where they are, and you are where you are...and YOU can intend and prepave to have this experience be a blessing for you, and allow them to have their own feelings as well.

you need not explain yourself to others, but maybe you could offer words as you offered them to us here related to how you are feeling--i think anyone would agree that your granny was a wonderful person, she lived a full life and she wouldnt have wanted to suffer and pine away--she wants to move on and thats what she wants and everyone is going to eventually have to accept that..

i will tell you a wonderful story--the passing of my lovely tassy granny at 94--she had a wonderful life as well, but things were starting to weigh heavy on her here, not the least of which was the fact that because of minor strokes, my mom could no longer take care of her at home--and so, she went into a very lovely adult home and finally into a nursing home--we visited often, my mother every day--and one day, i was wheeling her outside and she said to me--alex, i am tired, i am tired of living and i want to die...and i looked at her and said--granny, wanting something and willing it to be so are two different things--if you want to die--then die...she smiled and we had a lovely rest of the afternoon--my granny believed in the "life force" and in her later years had rejected formal religion--but to make my mother happy, she went through all the final religious rites...though i knew in her heart she believed as i do...

about a week later--my parents and I were supposed to go out sailing--but the wind was tremendous, and so, they came over to our house instead to visit--we got a call there that my granny was in congestive heart failure--and so, we all ran to the nursing home--she was huffing and puffing and my mother had her put on oxygen...i gently took my mothers arm and led her out--and told her granny wants to die--she signed a DNR and that means no special help--my mother wanted to fight this, but in the end, my father who is also a dr. and also intuitive asked for it to be removed...granny struggled a bit with fear at that point, but my lovely daughter--who was 2 at the time went up to her as we were leaving for the evening and kissed her and said--its ok granny, the angels are not here for you--its not your time...

The next day when we went to visit her, she was comfortable, but definitely laboring--and we sat around and talked with her about life and funny stories from our childhood--my whole family was there wiht her--and it was like being at a birth--we were waiting for the reaper--we all knew that--but it was joyous, it was standing on the edge of the divide and we were in heavens waiting room--waiting for the call so to speak.

I had to drive my older daughter to dance and thought against it, but my parents told me to go--before we left, my younger daughter was very quiet and looking around the room--my sister was holding her and she who is also intuitive said to chri--do you have something to say to tassie--and she looked wide eyed around the room and then said--tassy,they are here for you--you can go now...she kissed her and left...

ten minutes later we got the call from my father that tassy had passed--she was holding hands with my sister and mother--gave a suprised gasp, smiled and that was the last breath she took--her death face was not one of pain or fear, but one of happy surprise...

when we returned--my mother, who is a midwife and nurse was given permission to wash my grandmothers body, so there were no nurses present in the room when we came...my mother told us each to go in and say our goodbyes--and i went in and kissed her and touched her lovely wattled soft neck skin that i thought was so soft and beautiful as a child--and her old hands, which had knit millions of things for us kids when we were children..i walked back out and my mother was trying to contain chri--she wanted to go see tassy--and my mother said oh no--she is dead--and she wouldnt stop fidgetting until she broke free and ran into the room-she climbed up on that bed--and kissed tassy on the cheeks and hugged her and said bye bye! she then took the throw blanket off her (one she had bought from home) and took her knitting back--threw them over her shoulders and said--these are mine now--she wont need them anymore...and walked out--(she still sleeps with that blanket and tassy still visits her in her dreams)...

when i got home, i had a call from a very gifted friend--who said to me--your granny was a grand lady (this woman didnt know her, and i hadnt told her she had died--but my grandmother was from landed gentry in england--her family went back to the doomsday book)...she also told me that a great wind was blowing for her--warm and soothing...

The day i went in to see my granny before she died--i had whispered to her...gran, today is a good day to die--you have a great tailwind...

to this day, i feel blessed to have shared with her her passing--i wish i could have been there in that moment--but it is what it is and thats that--she was with family--but she was also with others, who came to take her--to her great suprise and delight...

death does not exist--life is eternal--we shift--from one plane to the next and return to pure positive energy--YOU know this to be true--your grandmother knows this to be true...all that matters in this is how YOU feel about it....you dont owe them any explanation at all for your beliefs--unless they are in the right space--they wont even be able to hear you--and you can never feel badly enough to make them feel better...you can honor their choices though, by not rubbing your feelings in their face...