who i really am....losing and finding myself again...

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Life is all about the journey not the destination!

I kind of jumped into this blogging thing assuming that most of the folks who were visiting knew a little bit about me....well, as the universe would have it, more and more folks are connecting with the energy here, and i thought it fitting to give a WEEEEEE bit of background into who i am and what i would like to do here in my happy corner of the bloggerverse....

As a small child, I always followed my joy....and when i did that, things would always turn out the way i wanted them too...and life was indeed magical....indeed thrilling...and i was a happy being, full of imagination and enthusiasm for life....ofcourse, this way of being got me into trouble with those who thought they could show me how to live life according to the script that society has set forth for young women in America in the latter part of the 20th century...

I grew up in a family that was living the AMERICAN DREAM. Both my parents were immigrants to this country, and came here with little more than their education, the clothes on their back and a dream that they could do anything they put their mind to. While they saw their lack of understanding of American culture as a disability, I view it, in retrospect as something that greatly benefited me in my development as a strong being. I lived with a passionate and emotional family where creativity was encouraged, but self-sufficiency was expected. I had big dreams, which were eventually shifted and curtailed as i integrated into society. Some of my newly revised dreams were influenced by what I thought my parents wanted for me ( i wanted to please them because they loved me and i loved them), and others influenced by what society expected of young women coming of age at that time.

Even though I didn’t achieve some parts of my dream, I did achieve others, graduating from college and creating a successful career, personal relationships and material success. I also gladly gave many of them up in order to get married and have a family. Along that path, I put who I was on the back burner and offered all my love, all my support, all my care and creativity to my children and my family, working long hours at a career in the advertising industry that had long ago lost its luster for me, coming home to create the perfect household, tend to my children and be supportive for my husband. Beyond the basics of self maintenance, I was not at all thinking of my needs or desires or dreams in the equation that had become my life, because that is what was expected of me in a society that worships the young and wild, but still pointedly assumed a transition to “family first” for women as they marry and raise children. I got on with the busy work of life, and ignored the lonely hole that was developing at the core of my being. I worried a bit about that lonely spot, but tried to blow it off as just me being silly, because I was basically happy with the trappings of a successful life, and lucky to have a great husband and supportive family. It was not until much later that I realized that that loneliness was ME longing for contact with who I really was, my true self and my own independent spirit, which had always followed its own bliss, but was not being stiffled by what others wanted and expected.

That’s when fate dealt me a strong blow, or so I thought, when I became debilitatingly ill with Lymes Disease. Speaking with doctors and suffering through treatment, I settled into a hopelessness and depression that this was all my life would be. In retrospect, this seeming crisis actually set me on a path to personal growth that far exceeded any dreams I had for myself previously.

Along this path, I have learned above all else, to put myself FIRST, selfishly, solely and completely FIRST in line when it comes to any thing I do. I have also, in the long periods of time that it took for me to recover and completely erase the illness from my body, spent many hours following my heart in the exploration of all spiritual paths that felt good to me. I finally and completely released myself from meeting any requirements that society expected of me and eclectically put together a life that has brought me a great reawakening of who I really am, and led me consistently farther and farther along the path to where my joy and bliss resides.

In my meanderings and exploration of finding what brought me elation, I came across many wonderful truths from a wide variety of teachings and beliefs. Some are as ancient as this world, others relatively new, and still others, recycled and expanded versions of older truths. It is with immense joy that I share this sampling of various teachings with you, and my personal realizations for expanding my life that have brought me to know myself completely. I am confident that at the completion of reading these musings, that you will feel a tug to begin exploring more fully who YOU really are and allow that person more complete acceptance and expression in your life.

First, I will tell you what this blog is NOT. It is not a blog about blaming society, or blaming our mothers and fathers, or blaming our husbands or wives, or blaming our children, or blaming ourselves for where we are and what we are feeling.

This blog is about understanding that WE create it all for ourselves and we can RE-create it all again for ourselves, if we aren’t happy with where we are! Its also about reconnecting with the universal wisdom of our souls and using the natural laws of the universe to create a dynamic life where you can be yourself and enjoy miraculous relationships with others and satisfy EVERYONE by satisfying yourself FIRST…I will go over ways you can refine your view of the world and tools you can use to create the life you dream of having. A life where you are the centerpiece in the lovely display that is your universe.

So sit back, get comfy, put the kids to bed, take the phone off the hook and enjoy YOUR time reconnecting with YOU….its gonna be a wicked rockin journey!